I'm Such a Delinquent; Identity

I was supposed to keep this as a log of everything I'm experiencing as a newbie to the field of development in Cambodia. Of course, that excitement stagnated around the months of November and December. One could call it the end of my honeymoon phase with Cambodia. Others would diagnose it as a function of my business with work, which I was. I'm just going to call it sheer neglect and laziness on my part. I should also mention that there were attempts to write. There are currently about 3-4 unfinished drafts sitting in my Blogger account.

However, I find myself a tad bit cash strapped (a result of a recent trip to Bangkok and a recent bout of a strep throat). The introspective self has also re-emerged vis-a-vis a dip in professional confidence (read: competence) in the past weeks. So where to start where to start where to start?

Ah. Before I left Canada, the man overseeing my internship asked me "So what do you think it will be like, as an person of East Asian descent, working in an East Asian country?" As a first post among my resurrection-posts, I want to point out first: I am Canadian first and Chinese second....and yes, I'm Chinese. Neither Khmer, Japanese, Khmer-Japanese, Korean, Thai, Vietnamese, Philipino, Native American, Hungarian nor Russian.

A common conversation:
Tuk Tuk Driver: Where you from?
Me: Canada
TTD: But....you look As-iiiiii-an.
Me: Yah....I am.

Another funny conversation.

TTD: You look Hung(a)ry.
Me: No...I'm fine...thanks.
TTD: Russian?
Me: oh he thinks i'm Hungarian. No. I'm not Russian or Hungarian.
TTD: So what are you?

I started to get mistaken for Russian and Turkish more frequently this past month and I couldn't help but wonder why?

It seems a bit strange that I rarely get asked if I am Chinese. The question of my race comes up quite a bit. A funny moment was during over lunch during a recent workshop I attended. My Dutch colleague, of the National AID Authority, said to me, "the moment you walked in this morning, I couldn't tell what you were. So my guess is Half Khmer, Half Japanese".

When the question of "what are you?" or "where are you from," my immediate reaction is Canadian, as in my first scenario. However, this answer is often not satisfying enough. The other party then goes on to list possibilities. Do I not look that Chinese really? Growing up in Toronto, where we apparently account for 11% of the total population, the subject of what ethnic group I belonged to was never a question. I didn't think it would be uncertain here.

It finally dawned on me one day, walking down good ol' Street 278.

I dress like a Westerner. The East Asian aesthetic didn't really get translated from my DNA. I'm kinda bigger than most Chinese girls that I know. I speak English without any accent, but the Canadian one I am said to exude. I'm also quite tanned. Many people here still shy away from the sun, preferring to keep a lighter skin tone as an indicator of wealth and prosperity, and not having to work in rice fields. I, unfortunately, like to tan, and instead, should be keeping out of the sun to avoid skin cancer.

The Chinese in Cambodia are a large population. Prior to the destruction imposed by the Khmer Rouge in 1975, huge numbers of my country-men fled China when Mao Tse Tung imposed the restrictive policies of the Cultural Revolution. Many fled to Southeast Asia, to countries such as Vietnam, Thailand and Cambodia. Many Chinese were already in these countries as a result of trade and economic growth. By 1964, we numbered nearly 500,000 in Cambodia. After the KR's decimation, however, the population slipped to 5 figures in 1979. In the recent exponential development of the Chinese economy, however, there's a new resurgence in the Chinese population here as trade barriers lift. 5 blocks away from my flat, you can even find Mao Tse Tung Blvd. However, you can definitely tell the difference between la nouveau Chinois and that of the first exodus. There is a difference in ethnicity: China is made of many different ethnic groups reflected in the sheer number of dialects that exist. Chinese diaspora and migration patterns are a function of these ethnic differences. However, there is also a question of identity. A conversation with the Chinese-Cambodian owner of the guesthouse I stayed at when I first arrived revealed that he identified first as Cambodian, and then Chinese. His family spoke both Khmer and Cantonese. I wonder if this is similar among other multi-generational Chinese living in Cambodia. I wonder if its also similar to my own identity as a Chinese Canadian.

Cambodia itself is considered one of the most homogenous in Asia. 90% of Cambodia's population is made up of ethnic Khmer. Yet meeting the Khmer that are both friends and colleagues with reveal that ethnic homogeny may be in how one identifies oneself and cultural membership. I'm sure that closer inspection of family histories and genealogy will reveal inherent migration throughout East and South East Asia, which I see most evidently in Cambodia. What defines a particular ethnicity may not necessarily lie in the genes, but rather identity, language and culture. What is ethnicity therefore? What is national identity? I ask this in the post-colonial, globalized and travel-efficient world we live in now.

I work for the International Organization for Migration. How perfect.